Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
