i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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