using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Randomize
