Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
