there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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