dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
