Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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