apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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