Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize