She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
