so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
