there's paper in my vomit.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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