i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
