matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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