i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
