is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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