Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
