Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
