My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Randomize
