His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
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