When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
