I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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