I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I'm sobbing to NWA
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
