he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize