using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Randomize
