so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
either way he was missing a nipple.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Randomize
