Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
