They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
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