Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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