Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
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