READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
