my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
You can't just leave with hair like that
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
