You're my little dorito
Do you still have your period?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
