Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
