____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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