i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
