i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
