whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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