I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
