I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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