I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
