he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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