Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
