You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Randomize
