Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
