I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
