ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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