i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
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