I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
