i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
it glows. i had to have it.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Randomize
