Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize