great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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