Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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