Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
