i just had sex bonerless
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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