he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize